On Being Grown up

Most people, in this last term on fifth year in Law School have one foot outside, and with Recruitment having happened today, and everyone having gotten a job, they have some clue as to where that foot is. Here I am, with no idea as to where I'm going, being the cool dude who opted out of recruitment because he doesn't want to 'whore himself' like the rest of the world. And because I have one foot in law school and the other hanging in space, I feel imbalanced.

The standard question to every fifth year from a junior is, "So, where are you going?" )They also ask you, "So, where is the treat?, but we shall ignore that for the moment). And apart from answering it philosophically with, "We all came from Him, and we will go back to Him," I can't think of a more correct answer. And each time I'm asked this question, there is this inescapable feeling of guilt. I have these vague ideas in my head on what I want to do - some exciting, others pragmatic and most downright stupid. And mostly, the stupidest of ideas seem the most enticing.

This is when you feel grown up. Suddenly, you're trying to decide what you want to be in ten years, and trust me, it is not a pleasant thought process. I don't like being grown up. I want to go back and play cricket in the sandpit every day. I want to cycle to school. I want to play 11 players outside our house - long timeless Test matches requiring extra-ordinary patience. I want to perfect Dhruva Tala Alankara in four kalams in Raga Thodi. I want to sit on the roof and stare into the Western Ghats...