Long Hair and Other Dirty Habits

In my nostalgia driven weeks after Law School, I suddenly remembered my unforgettable Labour Law viva. After ten trimesters of giving vivas, I was quite confident that I could defend anything that I had written successfully. But there was the catch - I hadn't written that project, Raguvaran had. On my instructions. But, he had written it. Half of it, at least.

Morning of my viva, I read 'my' paper and on the fifteenth page, I see footnote number 23 - "That book you gave me". Footnote number 24 - "Id." Footnote 29 - "Whatever Act they are talking about." Page 5, line 9 - "Industrial britney Disputes Act". Someone was playing my own joke on me. There was no way I could have ever hoped to have defended this. But I was cocky. Three years and a bit in Law School had taught me to defend anything. I once even had an explanation for why there was a footnote in my Contracts paper that said, "Cite random economics book here".

Prof. Nagaraj never read projects. I had nothing to worry about. I just had to know something about the topic, and bombard him with fundae. So, I read class notes on the topic, and confidently walked in.

Prof. Nagaraj: What is your topic?
Me: Judicial mechanisms under the ID Act.
N: What have you covered?
M: Sir, if you look at the Table of Contents... (first mistake)
N: Only the first chapter is relevant. After that you have just added whatever you want to fill the pages.
M: Sir, no. I have analysed Section 10 in the second chapter.
N: That is irrelevant.
M: Sir, um, I think it is relevant if you consider it from the perspective (now there was no way I could intelligently complete that sentence, and then it struck me) of comparing it with Alternate Dispute Resolution mechanisms. (There. He loves Alternate Dispute Resolutions.)
N: All of you are talking about Alternate Dispute Resolution even when it is irrelevant just because I taught you that course last year. And Section 10 has NOTHING to do with ADR.
(Head hung down in shame) What is the paper? If you had just taken one standard textbook and paraphrased it, you could have done a better job.
M: Sir, that's what I did! (Second mistake.)
N: Doing a bad project is wrong. Accepting that your project is bad is worse!
M: Sir, sorry. (Third mistake.)
N: What sorry? This word 'sorry' for everything everyone will going to use. No meaning it has anymore.
M: Sir, sorry... (Four)
N: I don't know what has happened to you. In third year, when I taught ADR, you were very active in class. You took part in all class discussion. Even simulation exercise you did. Now, you will going to come to class and will going to sleep. You have gotten into long hair and other dirty habits.
M: (I have this habit of laughing uncontrollably at all the wrong times, and when he said 'long hair and other dirty habits', I began my continuous giggle) No, sir.
N: What 'No, sir'? I know everything about everybody.
M: Sir, sorr... um, sir...

Then, he took my project and started writing something on the cover. My curious self had to find out what was written, and I leaned over the table. He then said, "You want to see? YOU WANT TO SEE?" And he showed me. In big, bold letters, with a red pen, across the cover of my paper, "BELOW AVERAGE". He said, "So that I don't forget."

And I was worried about Raguvaran's footnotes!