Interview with Milkmen - Redux

Hi, I got interviewed by a proper journalist properly - this lady called me up and asked me all sorts of questions regarding financial security and the like. It was great fun. I feel so celebrity-like already. Thank you, Francis, for giving my phone number to these people.

Also, Xebo (remember him?) interviewed me a couple of days back about Subtle Subramanian and other related issues. And while I stated earlier that I wouldn't let Xebo contribute to my blog again, too many people are asking me these questions, and so I thought I'd answer them here. Its only now that I realise that Xebo is always a bad idea.
***

Xebo: Good evening, Danser. Its bloody lovely to have you here...
Me: Just get through with the Questionnaire.
X: Okay. But let me go through some assurances from your side first - a) you will report everything honestly b) you will not censor anything...
M: Hey da, DansGuardian, the dreaded netnanny type thing blocks this blog within the Law School network. I have to be careful. So, all four-letter-words shall be replaced with 'Dans' and its derivatives.
X: Oh, that explains that mutilation in the first line. (Smiles all around - aandthirtyeights is happy with the non-confrontational start to the interview) Okay, first question. Initially, we were under the impression that with Subtle Subramanian, you had finally matured - that you didn't need to be inspired by your own life to write these romances. CENSORED. (aandthirtyeights laughs meanly!) DANSER, YOU DANSING SAID YOU WOULDN'T DANSING CENSOR ANYTHING!
M: Dans you. (more mean laughter) Its my blog. I am King.
X: Power corrupts. (aandthirtyeights laughts meanly again) Why don't you audition for the role of a villain in an 80s Kannada movie? That laugh goes well with your unshaven look.
M: To answer your question, I auditioned for the sequel to Sarkar Raj.
X: Oh, you wont make that. Your look's too intense for that also. But getting back to the issue of real life inspiration in Subtle Subramanian...
M: All writers have inspirations for their stories - often from real life...
X: Dans you. Answer in specifics.
M: No, there was no inspiration whatsoever.
X: No inspiration? Lila?
M: Lila?
X: Yes, Lila.
M: I'm going to censor you.
X: No, I was talking of the more obvious inspiration, not the really subtle one that even you didn't notice!
M: Who?
X: Tanvir Gill.
M: Tanv... What nonsense... T-T-That was just a... um, a coincidence.
X: You watch her three times a day. Google her every time you get bored, and then you write a story about a hot newsreader.
M: Dude, it was Dansing coincidence. Lila in my head looked very different from Tanvir Gill.
X: What did Lila look like?
M: Hmmm. I never described her in the series, except in vague superlatives. I think I want to leave her look a little ambiguous. People have imagined Lila in their own ways. I don't want to spoil it by setting a look now.
X: Translation for readers - "She looks just like Tanvir Gill, but our man doesn't want to admit it." Is it also true that you left her a message on Facebook telling her that she was really pretty?
M: Would I do something like that? I mean, what do I look like?!
X: Are you denying it?
M: Categorically.
X: I can prove it.
M: How?
X: A criminal always tells people of his crimes.
M: Danser, what are you talking about?
X: Tra-la-la...
M: Danser...
X: People will believe me anyway, because you're the kind of guy who'd think leaving such a message is romantic.
M: It is, in a way...
X: Its creepy. Not romantic.
M: How would you know? No one leaves you any messages. On anything.
X: Lets take independent opinion, Creep. People, readers, don't you think its creepy?
Readers: Of course. Especially if it comes with aandthirtyeights' Facebook photograph.
M: What's wrong with my photograph?!
X: It features a guy with sunken eyes and a evil half-grin. Creep.
M: Dans you.
X: Haha, your biting wit and retort has given way to a series of 'Dans you'. Haha. You're under pressure. Khair, lets talk of your upcoming ventures. What's this Love Theme in Ritigowla?
M: Point number one: you just used the term 'khair'. You're turning into You-Know-Who. Point number two, yes, I'm planning to serialise and extend Providing Apt Support, and the series will be called The Love Theme in Ritigowla.
X: Ah. Suggested reading, guys - here. And suggested listening - here. So, dude, again its something inspired by real life...
M: What'd'ya mean?
X: I mean, again, there's the same trail - smite, Googling, unanswered Facebook message, and now serial...
M: Dude, you have to be careful of what you say. Even when you talk nonsense, everyone believes you. People trust you more than they trust me...
X: What a sad cover-up!
(At this point, the subject of the interview inflicted horrible physical damage on the interviewer and left the building. The interviewer struggles in hospital for his life. No, the interviewer is just lying - he is in grave danger of losing seventeen skin cells on his neck, and a nerve that controls his sense of direction. Dans you. I am struggling for my life. Dans you, too. The next time you see the aandthirtyeights, please ask him about Facebook messages. If you do, I'll inflict horrible pain on you.If you don't believe me, you can ask the recepients. You know who they are!)
***
"Doctor, is Xebo alright?"
"Xebo cant Dans, saala."