Aug 5, 2009

Friendship, Love, Forgiveness and Remembrance

Before I start on the actual business of this post, I would like to point out that 'monads' is not a fake word. Check this out.

Also, major SPOILER alerts.
***

When I watched Dalapathi last Sunday (yet again - will I ever get tired of this movie?), I wondered if they were showing the movie because it was Friendship Day. The thought didn't strike me until I discovered a random channel showing Boys simultaneously. Dalapathi is currently my favourite Mani Ratnam movie, for reasons ranging from deeply personal to highly technical. But the one reason that I want to share in this post (I'll write another long one on Dalapathi sometime.) is the portrayal of a friendship. Mani Ratnam does play the senti card, and plays it quite heavily too. But as a viewer, you never feel its melodrama. Compare this with the recent Nadodigal. This movie is about three friends who help one of their friends run away and marry a girl. Now, this couple are children of rival politicians. In the bloodshed that ensues, the friends who help them suffer severe losses - one loses hearing, another loses a leg and a third gets an ugly gash over his eye (he also loses a girl forever - but the girl is so irritating that you hardly empathise with his loss).

So far so good.

Then the friends discover that the couple have broken up - that they only had lust, no love. So, these friends decide they will kill the couple. Throughout the movie, there are extremely sentimental references to friends and friendship. After a point, I cringed at each mention of the word 'friend'. The movie suggests, on many occasions, that the sole purpose of having friends is so that they can help you run away with your girl/guy at some point.

Which is why a friend who didn't like the movie got asked, "Yen, Meydam? Onga love work-out aaidchaa?"

Nadodigal as the title suggests is a nomadic film. It is never clear on what it wants to say or prove (or disprove). Its biggest drawback, though, is that it doesn't even have good-looking people to make the ticket price worth it.

Love Aaj Kal doesn't suffer from this problem. Deepika looks absolutely delicious. I think her yumminess in this movie is only topped in recent times by Sushma Reddy in that Limca ad (I'm telling you - if I had found any theatre showing that ad before the movie, I'd buy a ticket, watch the ad and cut. Even four shows a day.). Harleen (whose real name is being kept secret, although the internet reveals she's some Brazilian model) looks really cute too! Love Aaj Kal is a strange movie - its humour is smart and subtle, its romance is unconvincing (and a bit sudden and random), its 'message' is not really a message, its point is a bit unclear. If Imtiaz Ali has some insights on love, he's not making them very apparent. One theme that runs through his three movies has been this sudden discovery of love for the person next to you, after being engaged/married to some third party. A friend turns into your 'love', and you discover it a bit late, always.

But I enjoyed myself. I'm not complaining.
***

The most enjoyable, layered, complicated, honest movie I've watched in a while is Blessy's Bhramaram - in Malayalam, starring Mohan Lal. A stranger turns up at a man's house claiming to be his old friend from school. The stranger knows lots of details about this man's school and class and teachers, but his name doesn't seem familiar. As layers peel off the stranger's story, and its emotional core is thrown open to you in a powerful last scene, you are shocked, saddened, silenced. You're blown away.

The movie deals with forgiveness and remembrance. It deals with both a society's inability to forgive, and an individual's ability to do so (even if it might have been out of necessity). It deals with raw emotions of a man whose life has been blown apart by his past catching up with him unexpectedly.

I don't want to reveal more, because this is a movie I'd hate to spoil for anyone. Watch it. Watch Mohan Lal take on a most difficult character's role and play it with accomplished ease. Watch a relatively unknown director take his steps towards superstardom.

Jul 31, 2009

Dear Boycotting Lawyers of the Madras Bar,

Why am I not surprised that you are doing this? Why doesn't it shock my conscience? Why am I not appalled, distressed, angry? Wait. Why are you doing this?! Oh. There's an amendment to the Negotiable Instruments Act by which, in cheque bounce cases, the defaulter must, when he is summoned before the Magistrate, deposit 50% of the amount of the cheque.

Right. Lets give this some thought. An unwarranted law? Most definitely. Proceedings under the Negotiable Instruments Act are quasi-criminal in nature. This almost definitely amounts to presumption of guilt on the part of the defaulter. 50% of the amount of the cheque could amount to a fair sum in many circumstances and to make him deposit it even before trial is surely unconscionable. There are two more laws being opposed - first, is Service Tax on legal consultancy services; and second, the proposed amendment to section 377 of the IPC. Lesser said about these, the better.

But that is not the issue here. Often, as lawyers, we come across laws that we don't necessarily agree with. The Parliament's wisdom isn't infinite or infallible. The issue then is - what can we do as lawyers when we think a law is unfair?

First option: we make representations to the Government - tell them why, legally and practically, the law makes no sense. Why litigants, lawyers would be put to unreasonable hardship. Tell them why they should let things be the way they are. Mediate, negotiate. Generate public opinion on the issue through debate and discussion.Write in the newspapers. On blogs. The Government will not take the considered opinion of lawyers on a question of legal procedure lightly, would it? If there is any merit in our argument, they'll most definitely reflect on our view before they go ahead with their decision.

Second option: we challenge the validity of this law in court. We get our best representatives to make arguments on our behalf. We tell the judiciary why, legally or constitutionally, such a law is invalid. We argue on the Right to Equality, perhaps - on the inequality of treating one class of litigants differently from all others. We speak of the basic tenets of our criminal justice system. We hope the judiciary, belonging to our own ilk, will appreciate our concerns.

Third option: we boycott court for a day. We shout slogans, we destroy public property. We unleash mindless violence on our 'Learned Friends' who try attending court. We waste an entire day of precious judicial time (and further delay already delayed proceedings - for instance, our office has a 1996 revision coming up for final hearing tomorrow. After this boycott, no one can predict when it will come up for final hearing again.*). We put innumerable litigants, already burdened with an excruciating system, incomprehensible procedure and overworked courts to even more hardship. To what end? On Monday, we're working again - after that extended holiday we took earlier in the year with that boycott, we cannot afford to do this for very long, can we? The law doesn't necessarily change, the Government doesn't necessarily reconsider its stand. Do we even understand that at the end of this exercise, even if the Government reexamines this law, it will only be out of frustration and not because it wants to?

As a part of the judicial system, we are responsible for carrying out very important functions vital to the health of our democracy. Let us not make a mockery of these functions.

Yours,
Swaroop

* as it turned out, the matter has now been adjourned to 17th of August. Who knows if both lawyers will be free on that day? What if the judge is on leave? Or the matter is very low on the list and doesn't reach?

Jul 17, 2009

DK Pattammal (1919-2009)


Inta saukhyamani ne jeppajAla,
ento yemo yevariki delusuno.

Jul 13, 2009

Madras

Learning Tamil

So, many years ago, my cousin and I bought Tamil alphabet books in Madras (I lived in Manipal and he lived in Bangalore then) and taught ourselves Tamil reading. We even wrote letters to each other in Tamil (in those prehistoric days of the blue Inland Letter) to practice. But we lost touch with the language after that.

Now, I practice using signboards, bus routes and movie posters. The word I learnt to identify most quickly and accurately in two weeks in Madras is 'Kalaignar'.

Conversations with Thatha

Conversation 1: About six months ago
Two fairly cute chicks walk up the stairs to the second floor. They say, "Good Morning, Mama!" to my Thatha as they climb up. I'm immediately curious.
"Thatha, who are these girls?"
"Oh. They're call girls."
Stunned silence.
Thatha explains, "All-night they sit and take phone calls..."

Conversation 2: Last week
I've just entered home at night after office. A letter has come to me with my credit card bill.
"There is a letter with your credit card bill in it."
"Oh, ok." I proceed to inspect the bill.
"What have you been eating on the trains?"
"Eh?"
Then I look at the bill and realise that all payments are due to "Indian Railways Catering"!

Amma's Question
To her old friend
"So, what does your son's friend do?"
For a couple of seconds, I wonder what it means. Then it strikes me. Friend!

Conversation with Guy at Canteen in the High Court
"Oru bottle thanni kudunga..." (Give 1 nos. bottled water...)
"Cooling la venumaa?" (You want it in cooling?)

Argument with Auto Guy
He: (Check this sentimental argument out) "Saar, we're not going to get rich by cheating you..."
Me: "Then why are you cheating me?" (Take that.)
He: (Damn. I didn't expect that response) "Saar, also... No auto... Traffic... mumble mumble..."

Bus Advice
When you see a bus saying T.Nagar on it, don't jump with joy and rush into it. Taking a bus is like getting into a relationship. If you're not sure of where exactly the bus goes, you could be taken for a ride. For instance, 5B, from Mylapore to T.Nagar goes through Adayar, past IIT, past everything, through Poland, Greenland, and then hits the road coming from Velachery and reaches T.Nagar. Don't take it unless you like to sight some Polar Bears for just Rs. 5 (or you want to go to Adayar or IIT or Velachery).

Conversation with Cousin who's just finished his Twelfth Standard
In stern voice, "So, this Engineering College you want to join... Is it strict? Do they forbid you from talking to girls and using cell phones?"
Taking the bait, "Yes. They are very strict in these matters..."

Conversation on Shaving
To me: "Saar, you must shave everyday and come to office. These two days stubble and all is not good..."
Me, pointing to colleague: "Look at this guy. Always a two-day stubble."
Colleague: "Dude, I shaved this morning. Even then it grows like this."
To Colleague: "You must shave in both directions. Look at my stubble. So smooth... Touch and see." Grabbing hand, "Touch and see."
Me: "Saar, just because the 377 judgment is out-aa?"

Oh, lastly:
Lowely, beautiful, smart, fair, well-educated, superwoman, Madras-but-now-in-You-Yes friend has a food blog. Go check out.

Jun 25, 2009

Shakespearean Monkeys


The three of us are planning a meeting of the Slimes Society of India in Madras sometime next month. Little Boy (the one in the middle) will make a trip to visit us here. Mail me if you want to know dates and plan visit to Madras at the same time. Entertainment guaranteed.

Jun 15, 2009

Nero: Ambalapady (Part II)

Continued from here. Sorry for the delay. Much reorganisation of thoughts been happening over the last few months.
***

Shavasamudra, despite its name, was a cheery beach. It was hidden away from the tourists because the Government promoted Malpe as a tourist destination instead. The name was less deathly, they thought. No one cared if the water was an unnaturally spectacular turquoise - unlike the rest of the coast where it was darker and almost grey. No one cared if the sand was the milkiest of whites - not off-white or yellow. No one realised that harshness didn't come to Shavasamudra naturally - the waves were never harming, and the sun was always tempered. But then, who would want to go to a beach called The Corpse Beach? Who would want to bathe in that bloody water (A poet even wondered if all that blood made it blue. He was clearly confusing water with litmus paper)? Who would want to be at a beach with the most haunting of forts looking on grimly?

It didn't seem to affect the locals. They were there nearly each evening: they all had their routines and their favourite spots where they met and socialised. Many would walk along the edge of the water, the stronger waves kissing their feel lightly. They would walk from the port in the South to the fort in the North or the other way around, a healthy two kilometre walk against a strong sea breeze. A bunch of boys played cricket with a heavy tennis ball on a grassy patch near the fort - they were wonderful players of swing bowling. What actually happened at the beach, though, was a free exchange of gossip.

Stories started in one corner of the beach and almost magically transcended groups of gossipers until the whole beach was talking about it. One man would tell a story to the six other men who were listening to it around him. Then someone walking past this group would spread tell the story to someone else walking in another direction. And with these walkers, it reached other groups and so on.

Like all small towns, Kapmannu had a grand tradition of gossip. Like in all small towns, you couldn't cook payasa in Kapmannu without the whole town smelling it. The grapevine was as complex as it was unreliable - stories were often founded on conjecture, half-truths, legend and myth. Frequently, the source of the gossip changed the nature of the gossip. Veeresh's gossip would have information about which party bought how many cigarettes and paan that afternoon, and how this act affected the story. The seven doctors in the hospital always had medical theories to support the gossip they spread, and the lawyers claimed knowledge of vague properties owned in vaguer towns that contributed to the story.

Embatmuru, the owner of the tea-stall would always connect every piece of gossip with some conversation that happened in his tea-stall. Everything always started there.

Krishnaprasad had come the previous week for his morning tea and idlis when Ramanan entered the stall. Two things were wrong about this - Ramanan never came to the tea stall in the mornings because his daughter made tea for him. Also, Ramanan's eyes looked particularly tired. The first thing he told Krishna was, "I'm still alive, kid!" Krishna took out his revolver and pointed it at Ramanan. They looked at each other menacingly for a couple of seconds before bursting out laughing. Ramanan said, "Six months, kid! The Goddess was wrong!" Krishna finished his idlis, went to the basin to wash his hands and said, "If you keep talking like this, the Goddess will make sure she's right!"

When Embatmuru heard of the murder, he spent the entire morning wondering who the Goddess was, and what Ramanan had done to anger her.

Krishnaprasad was a constable with a theory based on gossip. When his bosses worked out the procedural why and how of the murder, he engaged in the substantial why and how. Krishna knew something about the murder that people around him didn't know. At least, they didn't seem like they knew, else they would have been discussing it.

Ramanan's murder was predicted, actually prophesied, by an Oracle.
***

Krishna still remembered that bus ride back to Kapmannu from Ambalapady. He was a little edgy and worried, while Ramanan laughed away.

"Kid, that guy there's looking at me weirdly," Ramanan laughed, "Maybe he'll get up, draw a dagger from his pocket, and stab me!" Krishna didn't say a word. "You could kill me! You like Lalitha, I know that. But she's marrying the other guy. You could get angry with me for not controlling my daughter, pull out your service revolver and shoot away," he continued laughing. Krishna turned to look out of the window. "Don't take it to heart, kid. I cant say anything to my daughter. I'd prefer you, frankly. That Nero's a bit soft in the head. But I cant force..." Krishna got up and walked to the door. When the bus slowed down, he jumped off. He was at least thirty kilometres away from home. He walked in the opposite direction - back towards Ambalapady.

Buses whizzed past him almost angrily in either direction on the highway. The occasional bike rode on the side of the road, unnaturally close to where he was walking. He tried stopping a couple of cars for a lift, but they didn't stop. An hour into his walk, he jumped off the highway into the fields and waded through the paddy. The mud was wet - it had rained the previous day. He convinced himself that it was a shortcut. His shoes were wet and grimy - it was like he had his own personal puddles to walk in, and despite the fact that he'd folded up his pants, they were fairly dirty too. The sea was a good two kilometres away, but he could feel its presence in the fields. It was almost an hour before he stopped to think.
***

Krishna was never too religious, but he was a bit superstitious. He couldn't explain it. Despite his scientific education - he had a B.Sc in Chemistry - he had this perverse fascination for the occult: the omens, the soothsayers, the predictions, astrology. He read his daily fortune each day in the local newspaper, and lived his life by it. He would choose his coloured banian depending on the lucky colour in the newspaper. He would look for his daily lucky number everywhere throughout the day. If the horoscope told him that he mustn't be adventurous, he wouldn't even flirt with Lalitha. Whenever he travelled, he kept tulasi leaves in each of his bags. He was terrified of black cats crossing his path and lizards falling on him.

Ramanan was the opposite. He read his daily horoscope, yes. But as a joke. He laughed about it and dismissed it. Every time there was a reference to his love life, he announced it loudly to his daughter, "I'm going to find a new girl today! At this age, with this leg!" The local astrologers, who lived in the same part of market street, were teased by Ramanan each day when he passed them on his way to buy supplies for the restaurant.

Krishna went to the Ambalapady Temple each Friday to witness the darshana - the sighting, literally - of the Goddess. The quaint, quiet temple came alive each Friday as one of its Trustees, a man of few words in normal life was possessed by the Goddess. It was a spectacle. Devotees from all around the area came there by about seven in the evening to witness it. On that Friday evening, Ramanan accompanied Krishna to mock the event.

Although he'd been witnessing this each week, the sight never failed to impress Krishna. The Oracle was placed in the centre of the hall where he would be possessed. People crowded around him in an irregular circle, crowding around the imaginary line to give themselves the best view of the event. The Oracle sat down on the floor next to two of the archakas. Some mantras were chanted, mango leaves were used to sprinkle water around the Oracle and on his head.

Gongs were sounded.

Slowly, the sounding of the gongs increased in volume. Gong, Gong. The temple bells added to the gonging. Gong, Gong.
***

Krishna continued trudging through the fields, the gongs still reverberating in his ears. The could even hear the archakas screaming their mantras over the din. He was right in front of the cirle, as he always was. Ramanan stood to his left, muttering into his ear every now and then.

"So, this Goddess, she's going to fly down from the skies?"
"Just watch."
"Ooh. I can see this misty figure flying down from that star there!"
***

The gonging continued. Louder than ever. The archakas were resigned to not being heard over the din. Yet, they shouted as laud as they could. One of them moved towards the oracle and whispered something in his ear. The gonging was louder than ever. The crowd raised their hands collectively in a namaskara. Some of them clapped with the rhythm of the gong. Gong, gong. Others, including Krishna, closed their eyes.
***

Krishna was tired from all the walking. It was unlikely he'd ever reach Ambalapady on this route. He sat down on a rock and removed his shoes. He shouldn't have pushed Ramanan to ask that question. He should've let Ramanan be. But Ramanan wasn't respecting the power of the process, and the only way to make him believe was to force him to ask a question.
***

Gong, gong. Suddenly, the Oracle stoop up and swayed to the throb of the gonging. The crowd imitated his action. They were all also swaying metronomically. The power, the tension was reaching the upper threshold. Ramanan let out a loud, derisive laugh. But everyone else was too involved to notice.

The Oracle let out a loud scream. A shattering sound that signalled that the Goddess had arrived. The Oracle was the Goddess now.
***

Krishna wondered what had made him push Ramanan forward to make him ask the question. Maybe it was his giggling. Or the comments he made. But he didn't have to ask the Oracle that question, really. He could've asked him anything else.
***

The crowd went quiet. The archakas performed a couple of small procedures, before one of them announced, "Ask the Goddess whatever you want to know. Be warned. The Goddess is a powerful being and might be angered by trivial questions. Be warned. The Goddess is frank and honest. She will not hide anything from you simple because it is unpleasant. Don't ask her questions you would rather not know the answer to."

An elderly man was the first questioner, "My granddaughter - when will she get married? Will it be a happy marriage?"
The Oracle replied, in a baritone that the man didn't seem capable of producing, "Next year, before Shivaratri. The marriage will last forever, but how happy it is will depend on how co-operative she is."
The old man's face fell. His granddaughter was probably the rebellious sort.
Ramanan whispered, "Calculated guess. That man's granddaughter is about 25. You can tell from what he looks like. If they're looking for someone, and the way he asked the question, it seemed like they've been looking for a while, its safe to assume they'll find someone in six months - by Shivaratri. The rest of it was vague."


A lady brought a child forward and asked the Goddess to bless him. "He will do mathematics and science! He will do very well!" The Oracle said.
"Right. She looks Brahmin. Half the Brahmin boys from this area do engineering. Its a safe guess," Ramanan said.

"My wife isn't feeling all that good these days. She feels weak and doesn't talk much. What is the problem?" a middle-aged man asked.
"She's been possessed by a spirit..."
"...probably having an affair with the man next door..." Ramanan mumbled.
"...and that spirit doesn't agree with your soul..."
"...it isn't the neighbour, its that business rival..."
"...and your soul will have to consort with hers more..."
"...you must stop having that affair with that other lady and screw your wife more often..."
***

It was that last line that angered Krishna, he was convinced. He wore his shoes again and began walking towards the highway to catch the bus back.
***

Ramanan found himself pushed forward by Krishna, closer to the Oracle than he'd've liked. He was not prepared to ask a question. The Oracle looked dreamily in his direction. One of the archakas prodded him, "Ask! Quickly!"
Ramanan considered for a second before asking, "How long will I live?"
The Oracle considered its response for a couple of seconds, before declaring, "By next Deepavali, your child will kill you!" The Oracle collapsed in a heap. The archakas were too stunned to even rush to his help. The crowd moved away from Ramanan as if he could explode and die at any moment. Krishna was dumbfounded.

Ramanan just smiled.
***

Krishna reached the highway, got into a bus and headed back. He was still unable to think clearly.
***

To be Continued.

Jun 13, 2009

Travel

I'm known for unplanned, impromptu travel. I also consider myself an expert at it. I had to use all my expertise to pull off yesterday's bus journey.

First, I booked a ticket on a KSRTC bus on the internet. The bus was surprisingly empty. Didn't understand why. Then, thanks to some directionless driver and vague dinner plans with Appa, I almost didn't reach the bus stand in time. Somehow, things fell in place and we reached Majestic with time to spare. Had a quick coffee, found the bus and boarded it. A good friend called with some happy news. Discussed it with him, and entered the bus. Conductor ticked off my ticket. Sat at seat number 5.

Suddenly, another middle-aged man came to seat number 5. After a quick check, we realised that my ticket was for the wrong date. I was a day early for my bus.

Asked the conductor if he had another seat. Initially, he said he did. So, I waited in that bus until it was about to leave. Then, the idiot tells me he doesn't have a seat.

I walk out of the bus in frustration and two touts hound me and ask me if I want a ticket to Madras. They said there was an AC bus for 950. I showed them the finger. Literally. Then, the guy said, "Non-AC. 500." I was tempted. I walked along with them, when they started negotiating again, "Saar, 600..." I was a bit desperate and I might have agreed. But some other dude standing far away signalled to me saying, "Don't go."

I don't know why I took that decision to not go. I went to the other dude who found me an AC bus for 600 bucks forty minutes past midnight. Had a chai and illuminating conversation with this other dude while we waited for the bus. Definitely the friendliest tout I've seen in my life. Ismail, his name. I tried out my Hyderabadi on him, and he was excited. "Not bad," he told me, "You can speak passably." He didn't even let me pay for the chai.

I wonder what makes us trust some people and not trust some others.The first two touts were as touty as Ismail. Somehow, I decided he would find me a better bus. And he did. Years ago, I trusted a lorry driver in Anantapur. Then, I knew I had nothing he could steal off me. I had about two hundred bucks in my pocket, I didn't own a phone, iPod, laptop or watch. I was wearing hawaii chappals and cheap clothes. If he was giving me a lift, it was out of the goodness of his heart, I believed. And I was right.

On the other hand, I have made errors of judgment. I once even paid heavily for being chatty with an auto driver.
***

In any case, I reached Madras safe and sound this morning. Was the most comfortable of bus journeys. I'm a little sleepy. Will catch up on that after lunch - one of those rare exceptions to non-afternoon sleeping. And then I shall meet more people and take the night train out. Back to Bangalore.

Random one-day travelling sure is fun!
***