The Gap Theory
In his new 'non-fiction' blog (a strange tag in an illusory world where everything is fictional anyway), my small brother (Chinnathambi) writes about his Law of the Loo. I quote:
When "n" urinals are aligned sequentially (n>5), the cleanest ones will lie between the 70th and the 80th percentile.His reasoning is as follows: people rush to the nearest empty urinal, fueled by internal pressures and lack of sufficient thought being given to the process, which makes the first few urinals dirty. Then there are 'mamas' (remember Johnny Bravo: "Hey there, pretty mama!") who pick the last few, assuming no one takes the trouble of going that far. So, it leaves the cubicles in the 70-80th percentile extremely clean.
He has, unfortunately, due to lack of keen powers of observation, ignored the Gap Theory of Urinal Usage. When "n" urinals are aligned sequentially, if Ln is occupied by a user, the next loo user will only occupy Ln+2. Ln+1 is left unoccupied on account of lack of knowledge of Ln's user's orientation, Freud's theory of member envy and a prevailing requirement of freedom of expression.
The Gap Theory implies that when two of the aforementioned mamas are in the loo at the same time, or more than 40% of the urinals are occupied, the 70th to 80th percentile will get filled. Suitable modifications in his theory are therefore to be made.
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Oh, before someone accuses me of intellectual dishonesty, I shall clarify that I didn't come up with the Gap Theory. It was only valuable, ancient, secret knowledge passed on for generations at Cauvery Hostel.
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5 replies:
womigaad... i can even see the equations.
Is it wrong that I picked up pencil and paper and came up with equations, probabilities and clean stall identifier flowchart?
(apart from the fact that I don't use urinals. that, I already know)
Interesting observation on an interesting theory. "Mamas" by nature are more careful and have more time on their hands (no pun intended), which means they will aim well and flush after, which still makes the 90th percentile the best.
Anand
Mami, i think the ancient gap theory has a fundamental flaw in it:)
Chinnathambi's "Law of the Loo" requires that the number of urinals would be not less than 5 and that it should be aligned sequentially. This is necessary if the cleanest ones were to lie between the 70th and the 80th percentile. But the Cauvery Hostel does not have more than 3 urinals.
Hardly a person would take trouble to reach the 3rd urinal;
Guys just come and choose it randomly depending on their mood.
So if I rightly believe, it is wrong to use the gap theory to
criticize the "Law of Loo". However, Chinnathambi's "Law of Loo" will apply only in the places where there are not much of a crowd but not in the crowded places (KempeGowda Bustand, Bangalore, for instance)
where even if n>50, all the urinals would always remain dirty because the toilet would be always thronged with cant-wait-to-pee gentlemen !! :)
If everyone flush the toilet properly after using it, these above theories may lose their value !!
I believe that if the necessary modifications are made, this theory could very well apply to dressing rooms in stores too.
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